The biggest wish.

Lifetime searching for something, you cannot imagine what it is, you have no clue about how it looks like, you ignore how much time left until ''that'' belongs to you, you don't want to know if it really worths it or not, the only thing you want is to own it. You make up your mind, convincing yourself that someday you will find it, but deep inside you know it, you know the truth, what you yearn for is a far away dream, something that cannot be reached, you really know it, perhaps, you don't want to find it out? Why do you continue lying to yourself? every lie has an end, didn't that lie reached its end already? Gosh. You know the truth, but you go ahead, with decision, with the hope of to achieve success someday, to be a winner or a loser, that's the only two available results you believe in. Nothing further than the truth.
Obsession, obsession for something you don't even own yet, swearing to God and to everyone you will own it someday, boasting of your own courage, which most persons lack of, you feel you are better and over anyone, the worst thing is not that you feel it, it's that you believe it. You feed your life with lies in order to be better than anyone, hiding your true self, scared of being yourself, you don't want anyone to know the real you, otherwise that face of yours will be destroyed. Scared of what people think and say about you, wishing for those randoms you don't even know their names nor what they do to point somewhere else than you. The obsession just began.
The worst prison is not a jail, but a jail built with your own lies, hiding your own feelings to yourself, covering the real you, fear to be rejected and hated, scared of not being the person you want to be. The only thing that makes you ''happy'' and keeps you alive, is that you yearning for, living a false reality, thinking someday you will achieve it, lying to everyone is funny, lying to yourself, stupid. You think in the future, when you didn't even gave a shit for the past, while living the present without any clue of what you doing or what you will do next. Isn't that sad?
Suddenly, a person appears, you don't pay attention, you don't even look at her, but she looks at you, and you are scared of her. The fear of your face being uncovered, unable to handle any opinion about you, your ego prevents you from doing so, and you feed it. You tell them to shut up, you told the whole world to shut up, never to talk to you anymore, but she didn't listen to you, she ignored you, she began to talk and does not intend to end this, you try to cover your ears, but it's senseless, those magical words could be heard anyway. There is a person that really cares for you, you try to deny it, you try to refuse her help, you give your best to do so, but you are unable to achieve such matter.
You begin to talk with her, you didn't want to, but something told you to do so, you don't pay attention at her words, but that eventually changes, the more you talk with her, the more you want from her, your selfish human features, you were unable to keep them for you, slowly, she begins to know you, the real you, you are unable to keep that face you pretended to keep forever. Then you react, ''Stop it! I am a monster, leave me alone!''. You expect her reaction, you think you don't care, but you do, suddenly she opens her mouth and releases from it the sweetest words you have ever heard, ''A monster? I don't care, I like you.'' You are speechless, you don't know what to answer, you don't want to answer, you want to keep that moment with you, forever.

A while after, you realize something. What you always seeked was unable to reach, you never knew anything about it, but you found out you were not the real you. Your life was a lie, everything was a lie, you begin to be yourself, not caring about what others think or say about you, you begin to live, finally. What you always seeked, was nothing else than a chance to begin to live.

Life begins when you are yourself

I am questioning Aria's state of sanity