Description Improvement - Any Description-Related Feedback Here

First topic message reminder :

The best way to do this is to copy out the original description/text --- either find it from the character information section or the game (screenshots would be a good idea) --- highlight the part of the text that contains the error(s) then write your suggestion in a separate paragraph. This way ToM/other authors know exactly where to look & change. So I will start this off as an example:



Also in the description:
"Yuuji slash the sword with his Power of Existence. Make an energy wave is appear on top of his sword.
Deals 225 damage each slash hitted"

My Suggestion:
Using his Power of Existence, Yuuji can generate energy waves when he swings his sword.
Deals 225 damage each wave.

Yes yes im cutting off a lot, 1st reason due to my mom keep yelling at me to do the dishes, 2nd due to my lack of time, 3rd due to my laziness Very Happy

If you guys want i can copy the original description later.

nah no need.. i just need a new updated one.. thanks a lot for helping..

Akiha's Skills

Tsuki wo Ugatsu

Original : Skipped

My suggestion: Akiha waves her hand forward to summon a pillar of flame in a straight path within 200 range.
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Deals damage in 300 AoE
The pillar moves forward 500 range.

.....Deals ?? damage each 50 range.

Shishi wo Kogasu

Original : Skipped

My suggestion: Akiha jumps ahead and releases a pit of flame on the ground, draining her opponents's life by seconds. Deals damage when the pit is out, or when Akiha gives the direct command to.
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The flame pit lasts 8 seconds.


Kakuya ku Momiji

Original : Skipped

My suggestion: Akiha moves with intense speed towards the target, dealing multiple attacks.
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Deals Chaos damage.
Attacks 7 times.

Sekishuu Origami

Original : Skipped

My suggestion: Akiha grabs the opponent,while releasing powerful red ribbons shaped energy force from her body to cover her target at the same time, dealing serve damages every seconds.
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Deals damage in ??? AoE
Ribbons lasts 5 seconds.
Both parties can't move for 3 seconds.


Tori wo Otosu

Original : Skipped

My suggestion: Releases fire to strike the target.
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Deals 60 x Base Damage magic damage.
(^ROFL)

Oh i forgot, put in the "Cast range = ???" for each active skill into the tooltips

@Omegasui
I think I am done with changing all the backgrounds... So have you been focusing just on descriptions of the skills i.e. not the descriptor (description at the very top about an ability in the Anime but doesn't talk about the damage)?

Tori wo Otosu

Original : Skipped

My suggestion: Releases fire to strike the target.
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Deals 60 x Base Damage magic damage.
(^ROFL)

This is the ultimate ulti in the whole game XD

btw, Aizen is not so hard to beat - i 1v1ed him, died twice (I think) but got him in the end - given that you spend time and money XD


@ToM
I also we should get an item-drop from Aizen rather than just cash <.<
The fact that players are able to fighting him implies that they have extra stats (i.e. have spent A LOT money already) so giving players more money isn't really that useful (trust me if we can kill him, we won't need to boost stats any more)...

Well if you die it doesn't count... i can't find a solution to pawn him 1 on 1 without being killed, since he can lvl up if i died, which makes things a bit harder

This is the ultimate ulti in the whole game XD

It's just a beginning skill

So have you been focusing just on descriptions of the skills i.e. not the descriptor (description at the very top about an ability in the Anime but doesn't talk about the damage)?

You mean the description above the dashes ---------- ? yeah except for Shana

omegasui wrote:Well if you die it doesn't count... i can't find a solution to pawn him 1 on 1 without being killed, since he can lvl up if i died, which makes things a bit harder

This is the ultimate ulti in the whole game XD

It's just a beginning skill

So have you been focusing just on descriptions of the skills i.e. not the descriptor (description at the very top about an ability in the Anime but doesn't talk about the damage)?

You mean the description above the dashes ---------- ? yeah except for Shana

Dude... If you have read my post properly, I have already given you the solution - a very obvious one too :scratch:

You need to pay more attention to Akiha if you "it's just a beginning skill" :affraid:

Ok, Then I will look at those to change :P

@leaderofrouge
yes we know.. can be say we forgot to put prize/bounty for killing Aizen.. hahaha..

@ToM
There's bounty (to not spoil for those that haven't gave the "challenge" I won't say it :P), but just wasn't really worth the effort/going through all the trouble because you can get way more from the arena creeps XD

@leaderofrouge
we will do something about this.. just wait (:

I do belive you said you died a few times ... I want to make it like a duel rofl...

well it's only a beginning skill with !!!!!60 X BASE DAMAGE!!!!!....
Imma do descriptions of the male characters later...

Ichigo's Skills

Shunpo

My suggestion : Shunpo is movement technique which allows its user to move in and out of combat with unbelievable speed.
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Max 1000 range teleportation.

Getsuga Tensho

My suggestion Zangetsu's Special ability. Releases an energy blast from the tip of the blade.
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Deals damage in a line.

Reiatsu Overflow

My suggestion : Ichigo unleashes his over-reiatsu to slow down his enemies.
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Deals damage to nearby enemy units in 600 AoE.
Lasts 3 seconds.

Bankai : Tensa Zangetsu

My suggestion Zangetsu's Bankai, upon activation will compress his power in order to gain full controls of his natural strength and reflexes at its limits.
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Increases attack speed.
Enables Hollow Mask

Hollow Mask

My suggestion : Bestows Ichigo with the power of the Hollow Mask, which supplies his shinigami powers, unlock his full potential.
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Increases AS|MS.
Blink strike attacks.
Lasts until Bankai worn out.

Grimmjow's Skills

Cero

My suggestion A special form of attack available to menos, arrancars and vizards. Fires a blast of concentrated energy towards opponents. Deals damage to any units it collides.
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Deals 100-500 damage.

Rush

My suggestion : Grimmjow brutally attacks the target with his physical abilities.
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Attacks 7 times.

.........each attack......

Sonido

My suggestion An Arrancar's special movement technique, which allows its user to move at extreme speed and deals damage to units on its path.
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Dashes to a target location and deals damage in ??? AoE.

Grand Ray Cero

My suggestion: Espada's Exclusive attack, which is improved from the normal version of Cero.Deals damage to any units it collides.
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Deals damage in a line.

Phantera

My suggestion Grimmjow releases his Zanpakuto, which transform him into a feline and predatory beast, giving him bonus HP|Armor|AS.
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Gives 250 damage bonus.
Enables Desgarron.

Desgarron

My suggestion :Grimmjow's final technique. Produces long energy claws from his fingertips to slash opponents from far.
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Deals damage in a line.

Shiki's Skills

Assassinate

My suggestion: Basic skill of Nanaya clan.
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Gives 17% chance dealing 12% extra damage based on attacked unit lost HP.

Sensa

My suggestion : Nanaya performs a fast slash forward, damaging hit units after 0.5 second.
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Deals damage in a line.

Sensa Hattenshou

My suggestion Nanaya takes a stance, then proceed on with a series of quick slashes.
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Deals damage in ??? AoE.
Has Knockback effect.

Sensou Suigetsu
(It's a passive ability and there's still [E] there?)
My suggestion: Nanaya sometimes blinks to an unit and attacks it.
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Gives 12% chance to instantly hit for certain times.
Hits 3 times max to an unit.
Hits other unit if hit unit is dead.

Yuuji's Skills

Reiji Maigo

My suggestion Yuuji's power will be restored when the night comes.
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Resets cooldown|HP.

Energy slash

Leaderofrouge already did this

Sonzai no Chikara

My suggestion :
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Gives Yuuji extra bonus.

.............. +? HP/sec.
Increases 25% AS for 8 seconds each time he casts spell.
(and it's Fire Ball...)

Fuzetsu

My suggestion You can easily alter this from Shana's description.


Silver Fireball

My suggestion: Yuuji is awaken to the power of Silver. Now he can summon the almighty Silver Fireball.
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Stuns all foes in ??? AoE for a certain duration.
Explodes after stun worn out.





'kay done , i think...
Please add the [Casts range = ???] to each abilities 's tooltips.
And the AoE for AoE skills.

Skills Descriptions for Sakai Yuuji

Original Description: Reiji Maigo
Thanks to Reiji Maigo, when the full night times come all's of Yuuji power will be restored back.
Reset all skills cooldown and back to Full Health when 24:00

Suggested Description: Reiji Maigo
The treasure stored within Yuuji; has the effect of fully replenishing its wielder's Power of Existence at midnight of each day - that is, the beginning of a new day.

When game time turns 0:00, all of Yuuji's skill cooldowns is resetted and health is fully restored.
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Original Description: Energy Slash
Yuuji slash the sword with his Power of Existence. Make an energy wave is appear on top of his sword.

Suggested Description: Energy Slash
Yuuji uses his Power of Existence to generate destructive waves of energy while he swings his sword.
Deals 225 damage each wave.
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Original Description: Sonzai no Chikara
As its name suggests, Power of Existence is a power that is contained within any biological or magical entity and functions as fuel for one's very existence. Thus, it is not limited to reside in living humans.

Suggested Description: Sonzai no Chikara
Power of Existence (or Sonzai no Chikara) is the force that determines existence - the stronger this force is the stronger one could be - normally this force will only deteriorate over time for torches. But for Yuuji, thanks to Reiji Maigo, he can make full use this power to improve his capacity in battles.
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Original Description: Fuzetsu
Seal is the most common of all Power of Unrestraint, and it also refers to the special dimension the Method creates; here the Crimson Realm and the real world intermingles, and all sorts of causalities, including time, is stopped for ordinary living beings. Flame Hazes are able to create such Seal at will, as may Crimson Denizens.

Shana: Makes the time of entire map is stopped for certain period.
Yuuji: Makes the time around Yuuji is stopped for a certain period.

Suggested Description: Fuzetsu
A commonly used Power of Unrestraint by Flame Hazes and Crimson Denizens which creates an alternate dimension that ceases the movement of time and other majority of life, allowing battles to be carried out without affecting the human realm and any damage caused within Fuzetsu can be repaired using the Power of Existence after the event.
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Original Description: Silver Fireball
Finally Yuuji is able to fight and known he have power of Silver. Yuuji is able cast magic Fireball that as Silver color flame from his hand. First the fire will target the unit and stun it. And after hits the target it will explode.

Suggested Description: Silver Fireball
Using his Power of Silver, Yuuji conjures a silver-flamed ball in his hand, with which he would launch towards his foes. Upon initial contact, the fire will inflict damage to the target then it explodes dealing a splash damage to enemies within the range.
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it seems the leaderofrouge one is more good and have complete description.. im gonna re-update again..

[more good]-> [better]

wow nice descriptions there Leaderofrouge, as expected for a nice guy from AUS , but the tooltip need to be shorter, really. Just Resets cooldown and HP or something shorter will work fine.

Oh btw can you do Miku's descriptions? I really don't know what to do about that one.Since in my descriptions i would make it as short as possible, but Miku's descriptions are hard for me to compress 'em.

@Omegasui
Thanks XD
Yea~ I will try to cut-down the length - I have a tendency to ramble when I get excited :lol!:
Sure, I will have a look at Miku's description in a sec :)


Grimmjow Jeagerjaques

Original Description: Cero
Cero is a form of attack that used by menos, arrancar, and vizards. It consists of firing a blast of concentrated energy at the target while most are fired from the mouth, some are capable of firing from their hands, fingers and such.

Sends a wave of Cero that dealing piercing damage to each enemy who's passed. Deals 100-500 damage.

Suggested Description: Cero
A long range beam attack that is widely used by higher ranker hollows - such as menos, arrancar, and vizards. The attack is essentially an energy ray and can be fired from different parts of the user; examples include mouth, hands or finger tips.

Grimmjow shoots a cero beam, dealing 100-500 damage, to all enemies along the path.
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Original Description: Rush
Using his physical abilities, Grimmjow brutally attacks the target.
Deals a multiple hit in a short time, hit for 7 times.

Suggested Description: Rush
Grimmjow initiates a high-speed close-quarter barrage of attacks on his opponent demonstrating his physical capability.

A devastating high-speed 7-hit combo.
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Original Description: Sonido
A technique used by Arrancar which allows them to move at extreme speed.
Grimmjow dash lunging to the target point. Cause damage to every nearby enemy unit.

Suggested Description: Sonido
The equivalent of the Shinigami's "Shunpo" movement technique, that is only used by Arrancar allowing them to move at extreme speed and usually used in conjunction with attacks to maximise destruction.

Grimmjow launches himself using Sonido at an area causing damage to all enemies within the targeted area.
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Original Description: Grand Ray Cero
As an Espada, he is able to use the Espada exclusive attack, Grand Ray Cero. Which produces a larger and more powerful version of the normal cero.

Grimmjow's Espada-variation of Cero dealing damage to all enemy in a line.

Suggested Description: Grand Ray Cero
An enhanced variation of the generic cero that only Espada can use. This version of cero is larger in diameter and is much more destructive than a
normal cero.
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Original Description: Phantera
After releasing his Zanpakuto, Grimmjow's appearance becomes feline and predatory, taking features such as jagged teeth, clawed hands, paws for feet, and a tail that be used as a powerful whip.

Gives Grimmjow bonus HP, armor, attack speed, 250 base damage, and able to use Desgarron for certain time.

Suggested Description: Resurrección: Phantera
In his resurrected Arrancar form, Grimmjow takes a more feral and predatory appearance signified by growing jagged teeth, clawed hands and feet as well as a power tail that can be used as a whip.

Releasing his full potential, Grimmjow receives bonus armor, damage, HP, increased attack speed and ability to use "Desgarron" - his ultimate attack skill.
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Original Description: Desgarron
Grimmjow final techique which can create long energy claws from his fingertips.
Each enemy unit that cutted will be take damage.

Suggested Description: Desgarron
Grimmjow's strongest attack after Resurrección - focusing and projecting energy out at the tips of his fingers. When he makes a slashing motion, the claw-shaped energy act as an extension of his claws which he can manipulate like his regular own hands.

Another work well done there m8, yet again your tooltips went off rofl =.=. Make them as short as possible please :)Arena maps shouldn't have long tooltips, for effective gaming purpose that is

I wonder what will happen if you are extremely excited when you're already this good just by excited :D

mmmmmm.......I will write essays!! :lol!:

Wow, never saw that coming :D
Erm do you have a Yahoo Messenger account? If you do can i have it?

Sorry man I only have msn.

Toono (Nanaya) Shiki

Original Description: Assassinate
Basic skill of Nanaya clan.

Suggested Description: Assassinate
The defining instinct of the Nanaya clan - finding pleasure of killing.
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Original Description: Sensa
Nanaya preforms a fast slash into direction, it will stop their movement for 0.5 seconds and damaging after it over.
Deals damage to every enemy in his line.

Suggested Description: Sensa
Shiki's fluid and reflexive movement allows him to perform quick succession of slashes at high speed before his opponents have time to react.

All movement of enemies within range are disabled for 0.5 second and damage is dealt to all units with movement disabled this way.
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Original Description: Sensa Hattenshou
Nanaya takes a stance and proceeds to doing a series of quick slashes. Each sliced enemy will knocked back towards from his facing direction.

Cause every nearby enemy unit in his face takes multiple hits damage.

Suggested Description: Sensa Hattenshou
Shiki delivers a barrage of rapid slashes all around him slice-and-dicing those that stood within his path.
Enemies hit this way will take multiple hits and knocked back slightly.
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Original Description: Sensou Suigetsu
A teleportation attack that Nanaya sometimes performed, that can't be followed by the enemy.
Has 12% chance to instantly hit for certain times. Each unit cannot takes more than 3 times. And if the hitted enemy die it will move into another nearby enemy.

Suggested Description: Sensou Suigetsu
Shiki's subconscious Nanaya instinct sometimes even take himself by surprise as he attacks without much thought and would seek out new victims autonomously after eliminating his current target.

12% to perform additional attacks (up to 3 times max) on target unit; if target dies under this effect, Shiki move instantly to another nearby enemy.
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Original Description: Sensa Meigokushamon
Nanaya slows time and does an arcing jump followed by a knife slash, and creates a clone of himself that travels with him.

Silence all enemy in playable map area. This skill will only hit hero. First hero that touched by Shiki will be the victim.

Suggested Description: Sensa Meigokushamon
Shiki concentrates and runs swiftly towards a single hero - moving with such efficiency and speed, Shiki appears seemingly to have stopped time around him - giving it no time to react.

Global silence to all enemy players until Shiki reaches a hero in range or end point of his run. The first hero he comes in contact with will be dealt heavy damage.

Edited descriptions for Ichigo --- oh... Sorry to Double post ^^;;

Edit: I realised Omegasui posted edited version for Ichigo already [<.<;;]

Kurosaki Ichigo

Original Description: Shunpo
Shunpo, is a movement technique that allows the user to move with a high speed.
Teleport Ichigo to target point. Has 1000 maximum range.

Suggested Description: Shunpo
A high-speed movement technique used by shinigami which appears seemingly like teleportation in the eyes of the untrained.
Ichigo moves quickly to a target location. Has maximum of 1000 cast range.
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Original Description: Getsuga Tensho
Zangetsu's Special Ability, in either form, is the Getsuga Tensho and energy blast fired from the tip of the blade.

Suggested Description: Getsuga Tenshou
Signature move of Zangetsu. Ichigo channels his reiatsu throughout his body and, using Zangetsu as the medium, he let loose the energy in a destructive wave annihilating any enemy along its path.
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Original Description: Reiatsu Overflow
Ichigo releasing his over-reiatsu.

Suggested Description: Reiatsu Overflow
A similar technique to Getsuga Tenshou, except Ichigo let loose the energy in the form of a reiatsu explosion damaging all those around him instead of focusing the attack in a single wave.
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Original Description: Bankai: Tensa Zangetsu
Zangetsu's bankai, named Tensa Zangetsu is considered completely out of the ordinary for any Zanpakutou. Ichigo's Bankai shrinks the sword down to a fully black one while his uniform also changes to resemble the robe worn by Zangetsu's human form. By compressing his power, Ichigo can move at high speeds, exceeding those of flash steps, and is given matching agility and reflexes, allowing him to use his natural strength to its limit.

Suggested Description: Bankai: Tensa Zangetsu
Tensa Zangetsu is the released form of Zangetsu. Unlike most Shinigamis' Bankai, which are denoted by releasing and materialising their reiatsu into their environment, Tensa Zangetsu compresses Ichigo's normally outflow of reiatsu into his body - so that reiatsu is only expended when Ichigo performs an attack - in turn greatly increasing his strength and speed in battle.
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Original Description: Hollow Mask
After training with the Vizard and subduing his inner hoolow, Ichigo can use his hollow mask while retaining his personality. While wearing the mask, Ichigo's hollow powers supplement his shinigami powers, giving him a lot of strength.

Suggested Description:Hollow Mask
A power-up technique that can only be used by Vizards - shinigamis that have acquired hollow powers - to further increase their capacity during combat by tapping into their hollow aspect. However weak-minded users could have their consciousness overtaken by the feral hollow instinct, and subsequently completely hollowised.

omegasui wrote:[more good]-> [better]

Oh btw can you do Miku's descriptions? I really don't know what to do about that one.Since in my descriptions i would make it as short as possible, but Miku's descriptions are hard for me to compress 'em.

Hey I already did that page 1 <.< ---Just realised, if you noticed it. Don't tell me to reduce, it's already like only 2 lines -.=

Also, i think all the descriptions should be edited right (Omegasui done all the items right)? I am getting dizzy scrolling up and down trying to figure out what's already edited what's not @.@

well almost all description is already remade.. maybe only miku left for better description.. else is done.. (except new characters)

Only Miku left, since i don't know much about her rofl

omegasui wrote:

Hatsune Miku's Skills
Cheer

Original : Miku cheer's up the allies target with her voice.

My suggestion :Miku cheers her allies up with such beautiful voice that can even heal any wounds.

Leek

Original : A special attack that Miku release, which make
her leek's grow bigger for an instant hit to single enemy.
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Give 10% chance to stun the enemy with 40 extra damage and stunning for 1 second and 2 seconds to creep.

My suggestion : A special power that Miku releases which make her leek grows bigger for an instant then hit enemy with powerful force.
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Gives 10% chance to stun heroes for 1 second (2 seconds to creeps) with 40 extra damages

Mute

Original : ....Dealing small damage and stunning each enemy around her and make they can't using a spell for a while.

My suggestion : Deals small damages and stun all surrounding enemies, then silences them.

Mute

Original :.... in the middle of the battlfield...
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Deals damage around her and cause all of the enemy target forced to not attacking and decreasing all affected unit combat spirit
My suggestion :.....in the middle of the battlefield...
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Deals damage to surrounding enemy's heroes and forbid them from attacking.After that decreases all affected heroes's spirits

Leaderofrouge wrote:Original "Background" for Miku:
Hatsune Miku is born as the vocaloid; Hatsu (First) ne (Sound) & Miku (Future). She get that name and being the first to helping people with her voice, and the first weapon is "leek" and it's obtained when she's singing at the first time.

My Suggestion on the Background for Miku:
Hatsune Mike is a vocaloid; she has been given her name --- which literally translated to be: First (Hatsu), Sound (ne) and Future (Miku) --- as her voice is the first to be generated completely through artificial means [rather than voiced by a real voice actoress].

You've done the skills & I've done background so what else is there to edit?
I don't quite understand <.<;;
Or did you want me to redo the skill descriptions?

Actually there is a skill or two missing, which i'm unable to understand nor to change it.

Ok - I am on it : P